Sometimes you have to get trough some hard days, like the one i'm having today. Days where you let yourself fall and you just want to give up on everything and everyone. Because no matter what you do, nothing changes or at least you think it doesn't, maybe it is changing but in a really slow way. Sometimes you feel like you do so much for others or just for one person but you still get nothing back, only a few words here and there. Maybe that person doesn't know how to express themselves or maybe, just maybe, is time for you to realize that is time to move on.
Because only a few words here and there don't help.
Words are gone with the wind as soon as they come out of your mouth or fingers as you write. It doesn't mean that you are insecure, it just means that you need some proof every once in a while but not in words, in actions. On days like this i allow myself to fall and give up, maybe cry a little bit also. Because i know that at the end of the day i'm going to get back up, maybe stronger than before. But what matters is that i will get back up, and on my own. Because no one is there for you when you need them, even tho you are always there for them. Some people don't understand that you are not moody, you are just waiting for them to show you that they care. On days like this is when people think i'm mad and moody so they just decide to ignore me, but i'm just desperately waiting for that one person that will tell me that everything is gonna be ok, and that no matter how far they are, they are here for me. But that doesn't usually happen. Because people prefer to take the easy way out and believe you when you say you are ok, or that you are not mad. Because you are there for them everyday but of course no one is there for you, even just for a day. Or that's what it feels like to me. At least not the person that i want it to be.
At the end of the day i know everything will be ok, things will work out eventually and life will go on.
At the end of the day i know that, that one person means the world to me and that no matter if i am mad for no reason, jealous or just tired of the situation, i can never give up on that person. Because event tho I've only known that person for a few months it has become very important in my life. But i'm not sure of how important i am on that persons life or if that person does truly care about me. Its all just a matter of time, maybe i'm just wasting my time, maybe not. I like to think that i'm not, because i trust that person and i know things will turn out to be, eventually.
Sometimes when you really love someone, you don't care about how much bullshit you have to put up with everyday, because when you love someone, you love them for all their good things and their bad things. And when i feel like giving up and saying that i'm done, i remind myself that. So let yourself fall, give up and don't care about anything or anyone, even just for a day.
So when the sunrise comes, you can get back up stronger. Stronger so you can fight for what you want, for what you believe, and for that one person you can never give up on, no matter what. Today, Saturday 14th, my day was like that. And now, i'm ready to get back up.
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